One Saw Me In My Bra....Not Talking About A Kid

Well, today was probably the worst morning of the tour so far. It's mornings like this that make you look fondly back on the primary school where the stage was so slippery that the house drifted 4-5 feet during the final scene change... This show is made to be done in a variety of spaces: theatres, schools, community centers... We don't really need a lot. What we do need is a clear space to set up the set and a clean, sanitary, safe space to get dressed in with access to a working restroom that is private and not used by the audience. Not much right? Here's what we got:

First, we arrived at the theatre and it was freezing outside. Strike One on our day. Then we get inside and realize that the theatre is actually now a church...a church with a rock band set on the stage. A rock band set that should have been cleared before we arrived, or at the very least pushed out of the way. Shelley, our stage manager, tried to convey to the people running the space that we needed the rock stuff pushed back if it couldn't be removed. She also let them know that it should have been done before we got there. They moved it back for us...about 3 inches. We asked them to move it further back. They moved it another inch or two. Finally, we ended up pushing all their equipment back ourselves.

This is what was on the stage when we arrived. Yes, that is a drum cage.

There were crosses on either side of the stage. Not in our way, but a little distracting.

Do you see how close that "thing" is to our drop? A drop I might add that we have to cross behind during the show. And I usually do all my costume changes behind this center drop. I had to do them behind one of the other drops which wasn't a huge deal since we always have to adapt. There was very little room though and when you walked past this contraption, the metal things that were hanging down swayed in the wind and knocked against their lights that were mounted on those scaffolds.

A view past the center drop to the Stage Left drop. Yes, those are our props and costumes draped on bongos and keyboards. There was nowhere else to put them.

A view past the center drop to the Stage Right drop where we had that pesky drum cage to deal with.

So, after seeing what we'd have to contend with on the stage, we asked if there was a dressing room backstage or a room where we would be able to change. The woman said yes and brought us to the backstage area where there were several rooms we could use and a bathroom. First of all, the rooms were all under major construction complete with construction workers milling about. Second of all, the bathroom was not in working order...there wasn't a toilet. Third, the windows and doors were open because the construction workers were going in and out (I mentioned it was really cold right? In fact after the show it started snowing). Fourth, there was so much debris all over the floor it was impossible to use the rooms. Fifth, we told the construction workers we were going to be changing so they needed to not come into the hallway and one still came back and saw me in my bra. I let out a frustrated yell and he scurried away clearly scared of my irritation which I'll admit can be pretty scary when I want it to be.

Shelley told the woman we needed a clean area to change that was private and she said she would go get a vacuum. When you see the pictures below, you will see that no vacuum would remedy this situation.

Our costume rack and bins with our bunny ears and shoes in the hallway where we had to change. Yes, all six of us were in that hallway changing at the same time. But it gets better when you see what's in that doorway!

This is the room that the doorway above led to and that we were supposed to change in. The door in the background is open to the elements. The floor was a wreck...see below for a close up.

Do you see the diaper that was on the floor? Not to mention the construction nails, trash, etc...

Finally, they offered to open the pre-school that was across the street to us so we could use the restroom. However, they kept locking the door so sometimes you'd go across the street (in the rain and in costume) only to find that the door was locked. You're not supposed to have to leave the building to access a private bathroom that works.

This is a good time to mention to Karen, a friend who works at Equity who reads this blog, that as Equity deputy I have filed a Safety and Sanitary Report on the "Dressing Room/Restroom" situation and it is going in the mail tomorrow.

Needless to say, we were all very happy to pack up our set and go which I might add we were forced to do in front of the kids in the audience because 30 minutes later there were still kids in the theatre and we had to get moving so we could be out in time for our required meal break. An Equity rule is that on a one show day we have to be taking an hour meal break within 5 hours of starting our day, and on a two show day we have to be taking the break within 6.5 hours. Since we started the day at 6:45am we had to be having lunch by 1:15pm at the latest. We were done by 1pm but we wouldn't have been if we'd waited on the house to clear completely. It was the slowest exit of an audience ever! Probably due to the rain. But it didn't help that the adults were moving slow as molasses.

In the end, the show itself was pretty good today. The kids seemed to enjoy themselves and we did a good job. I don't think the guy in the "I Love Jesus" hat in the second row really appreciated that Josh plays the role of Gracie, a girl bunny scout...but other than that, it could have been worse than the stage and dressing room/restroom situation. We could have had mic feedback, or one of us could have fallen off the stage like Helen Keller in that You Tube video (if you haven't seen it click here. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZJtEzAW9WSw Note to that actress: you don't have to close your eyes to play a blind person.).

Next stop is Decatur, AL where we play the same theatre for 3 days in a row! That's exciting. It will be like a home for us for several days. And I've already looked at the theatre website and it looks like the type of place that would have proper dressing rooms.